I've had two spectacular meltdowns this week. It is a crazy busy week for me (Spunky Girl's birthday, getting all set for multiple Mother's Day events this weekend and hosting a bachelorette part on Saturday night...on top of the usual craziness of school, soccer, swimming lessons, and bible classes/worship services) and the Big Guy is sick. I would have been stressed anyway, but the Big Guy wanting to be held by mommy every second of the day really pushed me over the edge.
Earlier this week, I was feeling critical of myself for being overwhelmed because my situation is really not-so-terrible. After all, none of my kids has a life-threatening disease and my husband is secure in his job. But why do I feel the need to berate myself for having a hard time with life just because nothing truly awful is happening? The lack of a disaster doesn't change the fact that it has been really difficult to handle all of my responsibilities this week. I have really worked long and hard and am still falling behind my responsibilities. What I really needed was just a bit of perspective, something that allowed me to recognize a hard week but also something to keep that recognition tied to the overwhelming blessings I feel by being a mom.
I got just that. At the moment when I was feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for these kids, I was also given the greatest gift. There was a Mother's Day celebration at Sweetness's (my eldest daughter) 1st grade classroom. I was a total stress-ball trying to get there this morning (getting the house ready for my MotherInLaw to watch the younger kids, getting ready while the Big Guy cried and wanted to be held, etc.). But when I got there, it was so worth it. For an hour my daughter hugged me, gave me handmade gifts, read me poems she wrote about me, and her teacher retold nice things she'd said about me. I don't think I can put into words how full my heart felt at that moment. It made every difficult moment (including 49 hours of hard labor with her) pale in comparison.
Now if I can just remember that feeling during my next meltdown...