Finding yourself in the strangest of places

Ahh...the popular romance novel. I must admit that while I love reading romance novels, I don't really "get" the people in romance novels. I'm as likely to be involved in a "I hate you, no wait, I think I love you" scenario as I am to fly to the moon. The casual arrogance of most the male characters (at least in the books I pick up) is nothing like my own husband and I bear little resemblence to the intriguing spitfire female character who has no awareness of her own attractiveness. I don't think either hubby or myself would ever run through an airport and onto a departing plane and declare "I just had to tell you I loved you before it was too late".

But, I have begun to find characters in books and movies that I relate to...my only issue is that they are either the parents or the grandparents of the main characters. I think that is a sure sign that I'm getting old. Hubby and I watched the movie Whip It last night. It was a Drew Barrymore production about a young girl (17) whose mom wanted her to compete in beauty pagents and she wanted to compete in the roller derby. She, of course, falls in love with some dude at the roller skate rink. My heart didn't identify with the love she felt for skate-park-dude. My heart identified with the love her parents had for each other. Two people who didn't appear to have much in common (he, a beer drinking sports enthusiast. She, an elegant, uptight, beauty pagent mom), yet were devoted to each other and defended each other when the child raged about the unfairness of her parents.

I saw a future version of myself in the novel I read this weekend too. The novel was called Love Mercy and it was about a teenage girl who ran away from a crazy love affair to the home of her estranged grandma. The girl was just looking for a place to go where her boyfriend couldn't find her, but the story centered on the love that developed between her and her grandma. I, of course, didn't related to the grandma in that story. Nope, I related to the great-grandparents. The great grandparents had lived together for 60 years and had been through endless tragedies, but weren't consumed with bitterness. Instead they provided a happy positive place for their families to come, to celebrate life's joys and to find comfort from life's sorrows. I would love to be that person in 40 more years.

I've been working my way through a bible study on Esther (using the workbook and DVD series by Beth Moore). She made a point in that study on that people can be grouped into 2 categories: those who believe they have a destiny in life and search for it, and those who don't. I think those who search for destiny are the ones that people write novels about. People like me, people that don't look for any greatness or defining moments in their lives, don't make very exciting main characters. But maybe we make good supporting characters...and that's all right with me.

book report -- my thoughts continue

I'm still thinking about that book! Yesterday I wrote a blog post about the book "...And Ladies of the Club". Apparently just one post about that book wasn't enough. Click here to read that post. Whenever I read an epic story like that, it stays with me. The characters live in my heart for awhile and I find myself thinking about their stories.

I realized today that I especially identified with the characters in this book because they are more like me than the average book character is. I think books are often written about those people born with wanderlust or a drive for excitement...those people who go to new places and experience new things. I'm not like that, so to find such a great book written about people who (like me) never left the place they grew up in is heartwarming. Both the main characters spent their whole lives entirely content with the idea that they would live out their days in the same town, loving the same people, walking the same streets, and appreciating simple joys.

If I spend all my life right here on the Eastside of the Pacific Northwest, that will suit me fine. If life takes me elsewhere, I hope that I accept and embrace that with grace.

Book Report: "...and Ladies of the Club"

Tonight I finished a book that has taken me ages to read. I can't remember another book that I've had to work on for months. "...And Ladies of the Club" by Helen Hooven Santmyer was fabulous. It was the cause of many moments of bad mothering as I neglected my children because I just wanted to finish the chapter I was on!!! I snuck the book into the bathroom with me, I snuck it into the stairwell to read, I read late into the night from time to time, and I definitely let the kids watch more TV so I could read. Bad mommy.

The book details the entire lives of two women and the book club that they start while still in their teens. The women both die in their 80's, so there is 60+ years of history that passes during the books pages. The book reminds me a bit of what it is like for me to belong to the same church for the last 30 years. Like their 60 years in the book club, my 30 years at my church have introduced me to many people. Some come and go. Some are born and some die. Some marry, some divorce, and some remarry. Some move away and some return. Some have children that make them proud and some don't.

When I think about this book, I find myself asking what was the point of the novel. What was the overriding message or theme? I really can't think of one. Perhaps it had something to say about getting along with others. Maybe that many interpersonal issues that seem larger-than-life at the time will seem tiny in hindsight. But just now, as I write those possibilities, I know that isn't what will stick with me. I will remember that this novel made me feel so grateful for the bond that I have with my church family. I will remember that happiness in life doesn't come from the lack of sorrow but from an inner peace that one has when their way is sure.

At 1200 pages, it isn't a book that you should undertake lightly but I'm glad to have read it. Here is an excerpt from a real review:

"...And Ladies of the Club" is a novel, written by Helen Hooven Santmyer, about a group of women in the fictional town of Waynesboro, Ohio who begin a study club, which evolves through the years into a significant community service organization in the town. The books spans decades in the lives of the women involved in the club, between 1868 and 1932. Many characters are introduced in the course of the novel, but the primary characters are Anne Gordon and Sally Rausch, who in 1868 are new graduates of the Waynesboro Female Seminary who soon marry, and the decades that follow chronicle their marriages and those of their children and grandchildren. Santmyer focuses not just on the lives of the women in the Club, but also their families, friends, politics, and developments in their small town and the larger world.

Originally published by the Ohio State University Press in 1982 and only selling a few hundred copies, the book was chosen as a Book of the Month Club selection in 1984, making it a best-seller that year. The recognition earned its 88-year-old author critical acclaim and literary recognition; according to the back cover of the 1985 paperback edition, the novel took Santmyer more than 50 years to write.

Imagine that! 50 years to write. Good for you Helen Hooven Santmyer.