Wednesday, September 30, 2009

This cracked me up...

maybe you've got to be a fireman's wife to find this funny, but hopefully not...

Ambulance Driver Reports - Fire/Rescue Memorandum

Office of the Fire Chief
To: All Ambulance Personnel
From: Chief of Operations

Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS (Emergency Medical Services) narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following:

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT “Charlie Carrots.” Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not “CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or hamburger helper.” Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like “negative vehicle to vehicle interface” or “terminal deceleration syndrome.”

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not “glow worms.”

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered “pharmaceutically gifted.”

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not “trans-occipital implants.”

7) The homeless are not “urban outdoorsmen”, nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a “PVC Challenge.”

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being “paws up, ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), or NLPR (no long playing records).”

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Boy am I in trouble

All kids are unique and special...but when I describe my kids as "unique" and "special" I am usually making a derisive comment. I don't know why it is easier for me to complain openly about my children than it is for me to brag openly about them...but it here goes:

My Spunky Girl is going to be a handful. For some reason, that girl cannot keep her clothes on. When she was a little bit younger, I'd find myself getting weird looks at Costco and turn around to find her NAKED. At 4 years of age, she routinely asked people "do you want to see my bottom?". At 5 years of age, I have to keep asking her to stopping pulling her shirt above her nipples.

The other day I laid the kids down over some long paper and drew their outlines. The girls then got to draw in their faces, their clothes, etc. Sweetness, my eldest child, drew herself in a lovely green t shirt and mid-length blue shorts. Spunky Girl drew herself in an off-shoulder shirt with some bicep high matching gloves & a pair of capri pants. Somehow she even managed to give her hips a sexy curve. She doesn't own any clothes like that, of course, but that is how she drew herself. She is just really body conscious...but not in a "look at myself in the mirror" kinda way (that would be Sweetness)...more in a "who can I get to look at me" kinda way.

If I pull my hair out with Spunky Girl's antics at 5 years old, how am I going to handle her when she's 16?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Posting Blahs

Well friends, I haven't been blogging as much lately. There are several reasons why, I think.

First, I'm climbing toward my 100th post. This might be screwing with my head a little. I want my 100th post to be something good, but we all know that I write about nothing. My 100th post will be about nothing unless something extraordinary happens in my TLC deciding that I'm their next client on What Not To Wear and they whisk me away for a week of shopping in New York. Or I win the lottery, which I don't even play, and suddenly have $100,000 with which to remodel my basement and give to the needy.

Second, using an RSS feed to import my blog posts to Facebook changes the nature of my blogging. I was slightly more anonymous when I only wrote for Yes, my picture was up there, but I wasn't specifically inviting all my family and friends (& my husband's family and friends) to read what I wrote. The ones that wanted to read my inanities had to go look up my posts. On Facebook, my thoughts push across cyberspace and land on people's front door...complete with a creepy picture of my face next to them. The posts that I would once write about personal issues (my underwear, sex, etc.) just seem WRONG on Facebook. Also before Facebook, I could write about people I knew. Even if I changed the names, too many people could guess who I'm talking about on Facebook and so I find myself refusing to post stories I've written because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. The flip side of the coin, of course, is that I've got dozens more readers on if I go back to only writing for, I'll have to accept that.

Third, my camera is STILL at my grandma's house. There are so many times that I'll blog about whatever pictures I've recently taken, and without my camera that just doesn't happen. I've got to find time to go get that back and visit my dear Grandma.

Who knows, mabye my post about not blogging will inspire me to blog more. This is post #95. Let's see how long it takes me to get to 100.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Hubby's Fishing Trip

I had decided not to post about my husband's absence this week in case any cyber-stalkers were out there who wanted to come figure out where I live. But, given the amount of facebook posting about my hubby's fishing trip, I think the cat is out of the bag.

While I am THRILLED that hubby gets a chance to go enjoy himself with the boys, the thought of a week on my own with all three kids was a tad terrifying. I was afraid of getting overwhelmed on day 3 and having 3 more days to go. I was afraid of becoming emotionally overwrought and screaming inanities at my children. I was afraid of spending my time silently crying in the powder room while trying to calmly say "kids, mommy needs a minute."

But, here I am on day 4 and none of those thing have come true. I'm actually...okay. It has been a good couple of days. While we all miss hubby/daddy dearly, his absence isn't resulting in anyone's heart failure.

I have a three point plan for surviving my week and I think it is helping. It is:

I really need to start heading up to my bedroom by 10 pm. I usually grab my iTouch for a half hour of You-tubing or iTunes-ing before I roll over to go to sleep. So far, I've managed to get enough sleep to be sane for the early morning wakeup calls (the Big Guy has started an early morning pattern that I don't quite understand). And I'm all caught up on lots of online comedy videos.

I don't usually have a problem eating, but when hubby is gone my choices tend to be poor. Like having a milkshake for lunch or making the kids eggs for dinner (which I hate and so won't eat). I've been making regular old dinners in hubby's absence. Last night was Tex-Mex Casserole, which I thought was tasty but my kids threw HUGE fits about. they have to gag over lasagna noodles?

While escaping into a good book sounds like a successful way to get through the week, the "me" time actually works against me. Once I start reading, I get frustrated by the interruptions...and I get a little obsessed. Soon I'm snapping at the kids to let me finish my chapter and staying up late reading (see point #1). So, no reading for me this week. I pledge to try to stay in the present with my kids and not look for ways to escape the job in front of me.

And so, Day 4 w/o hubby is looking like a nice one. The sun is shining. The kids have swimming lessons today, so we'll be busy. On Day 5 w/o hubby, my delightful MIL is taking the Big Guy for a couple of hours, so I might even be able to go out to lunch with a friend. And then hubby will be home late on Day 6. Day 6 is the day that I'll probably fall to pieces...somehow I always manage to behave myself right up until the time where I've almost made it. I wonder what that says about me?

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Frugalista. I suppose that is a combo of fashionista and a budget freak. Sounds just like me! I just heard that term on a Target commercial.

And speaking of a love of shopping on a budget, I got the chance to visit 2 high-end consignment stores in the last week. The first one, called Between Friends, is fairly new. It is on 106th street in Bellevue. It has a limited amount of clothes, but is a pleasant non-cramped place to shop. They also have some cute new home furnishings. Check out their website at

Today I was in Kirkland, so I attempted to stop by an old favorite consignment store on Main street...but it was closed. The experience of pulling up to a store and realizing it is closed for good happens TOO often lately. So, I walked down to the main drag (Lake Street) to visit Rebekah's consignment. The store has changed names, and assumably ownership, to Serendipity Consignment Boutique. This store has 2 - 3 times as many clothes as Between Friends displays. It also has nice dressing rooms and really big mirrors, which is nice.

Anyway, I think you all should go patronize those stores so they are there the next time I want to go shopping! Please and Thank you. =)

Thursday, September 3, 2009

What? Embarrass My Kids? Me?

It was inevitable that my thrift-store shopping ways would eventually embarrass my children. I buy most of my kids clothes, probably 85%, from children's consignment stores. I occasionally will buy something new, but only if I haven't been able to find what I'm looking for second hand. My kids do get some new clothes because their grandparents often purchase clothes for their birthdays, Christmas, & sometimes new school shopping.

Luckily Spunky Girl hasn't caught on yet that there might be anything amiss with her wardrobe. I found these adorable white flats for her at Value Village. They were only $2.99 and looked like they had never been worn. She wore them to school on her first day. She and I were in the school office when the principal came by and stopped to compliment her on her super-cute shoes. When the principal asked where she got them, I was happy to reply that I got them at Value Village. Spunky Girl didn't care at all where I got them, she was just glad to have them.

At age 7, Sweetness is starting to care. I bought her a great pair of black boots. They were in awesome, like new condition too. She wore her new boots on her third day of school. When someone complimented her on her boots and asked where I got them, I replied that I got them at the consignment store. It was clear from Sweetness' face that my answer was embarrassing and she added that they were "Nine West" boots. Perhaps the name brand of the boots somehow redeems the second hand nature of the purchase.

I know when we go to the consignment store, Sweetness can certainly find things that she wants me to I know she doesn't TOTALLY hate the second hand shopping. I guess she just doesn't want me to be so verbal about our family shopping habits. Perhaps I should make it my mission to make Sweetness understand economics so well that she is proud to be frugal...or maybe I should just cut her a break and not blab where I got her stuff.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

School Starts Today

The alarm clock rang at seven. It rang like it hasn't rung since early June. Lucky for me, I don't have to hear it. Sweetness has it in her room and she has the responsibility to get up, turn it off, and come wake up momma. It belongs on my "best of" motherhood list.

She jumped out of bed this morning and made her bed without being asked. I love it when they are excited for school. I'd love to post a picture of her dressed in her first-day-of-school clothes, but I forgot to take a picture. I also forgot to take a picture of her getting on the school bus. That probably won't make it into my "best of" motherhood list. I wish I had a picture of her face when the boy she doesn't like sat down next to her. The silent telepathy of "help me mom" works through the bus windows. "Bye honey" I yell "have a great first day" and turn my back on her pleading eyes.

We're back on a schedule. Tuesday schedules will be full:
7 am -- Sweetness up and getting ready for school
7:50 am -- walk sweetness to the bus stop (hope and pray that mom or hubby is around so I don't have to drag the other two kids down the hill with us)
9:20 -- get Spunky Girl and the Big Guy in the car for swim lessons
9:30 -- Spunky Girl's swim lessons
10 am -- the Big Guy's swim lessons
11 am -- early lunch for the 2 little kids
11:55 am -- walk Spunky Girl down to the bus stop
1:30 pm -- put the Big Guy down for a nap (please please please)
3:12 pm -- pick up Spunky Girl and Sweetness from the bus stop
4:20 pm -- get the kids in the car to head back to the pool for Sweetness' swim lessons
5 pm -- start dinner!

Should be a full day. I'm looking forward to it! Happy First Day of School!