School Starts Today

The alarm clock rang at seven. It rang like it hasn't rung since early June. Lucky for me, I don't have to hear it. Sweetness has it in her room and she has the responsibility to get up, turn it off, and come wake up momma. It belongs on my "best of" motherhood list.

She jumped out of bed this morning and made her bed without being asked. I love it when they are excited for school. I'd love to post a picture of her dressed in her first-day-of-school clothes, but I forgot to take a picture. I also forgot to take a picture of her getting on the school bus. That probably won't make it into my "best of" motherhood list. I wish I had a picture of her face when the boy she doesn't like sat down next to her. The silent telepathy of "help me mom" works through the bus windows. "Bye honey" I yell "have a great first day" and turn my back on her pleading eyes.

We're back on a schedule. Tuesday schedules will be full:
7 am -- Sweetness up and getting ready for school
7:50 am -- walk sweetness to the bus stop (hope and pray that mom or hubby is around so I don't have to drag the other two kids down the hill with us)
9:20 -- get Spunky Girl and the Big Guy in the car for swim lessons
9:30 -- Spunky Girl's swim lessons
10 am -- the Big Guy's swim lessons
11 am -- early lunch for the 2 little kids
11:55 am -- walk Spunky Girl down to the bus stop
1:30 pm -- put the Big Guy down for a nap (please please please)
3:12 pm -- pick up Spunky Girl and Sweetness from the bus stop
4:20 pm -- get the kids in the car to head back to the pool for Sweetness' swim lessons
5 pm -- start dinner!

Should be a full day. I'm looking forward to it! Happy First Day of School!

Feelin' all bummed out

We pulled the Big Guy out of swim lessons today. I feel so emotional about it. It seems like the right decision, but definitely not a happy decision. The Big Guy has been crying through his lessons for 3 months now. The last couple of weeks (when mommy has sat out in the parking lot during lessons) have been particularly brutal.

I remain committed that my kids will learn to swim and I remain a fan of the lessons I have the kids in...but I just think that the Big Guy would benefit from a break. Part of the frustration of knowing what to do is because we don't feel confident that we know why he is screaming. We don't think he is scared, as there are no tears running down his face when he cries AND he likes to jump off the diving board. It may be mommy-separation anxiety, but that doesn't explain why he cried when I was still in the pool. It seems like he is just mad that he is being made to go (not unlike the way he is also screaming about going to Bible class).

Several people have expressed strong opinions (including the instructors) that pulling him out of lessons just teaches him that he'll win if he cries about something for long enough. When I called to cancel his lessons today, the guy on the phone indicated that he'll never learn to swim if I pull him out. That makes me feel awful, but I just don't believe that it is true. Is it really the end of the world if I give all of us a break for a few months and try again in the fall or the spring?

Not to mention that the lessons are darn expensive. I've already spent over $500 for lessons that the Big Guy has wasted. I don't want to keep throwing good money after bad.

So, the decision is made and I need to just let whatever emotions I have about the situation go...

It's all about me

The big guy behaves worse for me than he does for others. When hubby and I talk a family member or good friend into babysitting, they always report that he was a joy. For me, the kid is a screaming lunatic. He'll give his dad a hard time occasionally, but not nearly the intensity that I am treated too.

Why? Doesn't that boy know where his bread is buttered? Doesn't he know who wipes his butt? Doesn't he know who feeds him breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Doesn't he know who buys his clothes? Doesn't he know who gets the "ickies" off his hands? I could go on, but I think you get my point. ME. I DO. Hasn't he heard the saying "don't bite the hand that feeds you"? Well...he probably hasn't in his long 2 years of life... but that doesn't mean it isn't true.

He cries during swim lessons all the time. I really thought after 2.5 months that he'd be doing better. The swim instructor is also fed up with him, so on Tuesday she told me to get out of the pool and leave the Big Guy to her. She also informed me that starting Thursday (today), I was to just drop him off and go wait in the car. She thinks she can train him better if I'm not around for him to cry to.

So I did what I was told. I dropped him off at swimming lessons, attached his little floaty device, and left him in the capable-but-cantankerous hands of his swim instructor. I sat out in my car in the parking lot and I could hear his screams out there for a few minutes, and then there was silence. "Wow" I thought "it is working. He is actually quiet." About 15 minutes into the 1/2 hour lessons, another mom came out to my car and told me that he was doing great. I really wanted to see how great he was doing, so I snuck back into the pool area for a peak. Unfortunately, both the Big Guy and the swim instructor caught me. The Big Guy started shreaking "mommy" and the instructor yelled "get out". Probably not my best move.

Overall, I am grateful to the swim instructor for being willing to do what it takes to make sure he is learning to swim. Spending every lesson crying was just a waste of my money. And maybe my boy will learn that it doesn't always work in your favor to scream at your mom. I think I'm finally learning at home the same lesson. There is no punishment that works for screaming except separating that boy from me. He only stops screaming when he's truly convinced that I cannot hear him complain.

Frankly, I'm surprised that boy even wants my attention that much, given that I'm already a stay-at-home mom who sees him every waking hour that he isn't sleeping.

But even when he is being horrible and I'm at my wits end about how to change his behavior, I still cannot deny that MY BOY IS CUTE!

2 Year Old Woes

I took the Big Guy, my little boy, to the doctor for his 2 year old well-care appointment today.

My pediatrician, who I swear is the BEST pediatrician ever, asked me if he's been difficult lately? Ummm...lemme think. Yeah.

Yes, he's been a big ole pain in the butt lately. He cries ALL the time. He cries because he wants waffles and I'm serving cereal. He cries because I cut his muffin in half and he wants it whole. He cries because I say no. He cries because I refuse to hold him while I'm drying my hair. He CRIES.

I've tried to give the guy a little space. We've got a lot of chaos around here lately. A friend and her 2 year old little girl have moved in with us for a bit. He has to share his toys more than he's used to. He gets in trouble for hitting. But, he still has to cope. I don't know how to stop the crying (and I've tried everything), so I have to cope. So I do cope...and I wait for this phase to be over. So when the doctor asks "has he been difficult lately?" I had to stop and think. Is he difficult...Yeah, he's difficult.

"Well, maybe it is because he has a sinus infection" she answers.

...


How did I not know that? Because he's always been a cry baby; it has just been worse lately.

The doctor went on to check his private parts, like she always does. I commented to her, a little embarrassed, that there was a speck of something on his scrotum that I could not get off. I thought it was a bit of feces that was being stubborn, but I really scrubbed at it and it stayed there. "Well, that's because it is a mole" she responds. Wow. Could I be any more of an idiot today? It didn't occur to me that a mole starts out tiny, like a spec, and could just appear out of nowhere. Instead I just scrub my poor boy's scrotum trying to get it off...no wonder the boy cries.


I've been taking the Big Guy to swimming lessons twice a week. He cries every time the instructor touches him. It has been 6 weeks of lessons and the instructor has been accepting of his screams of protest, but I think she's getting tired of it. Today she asks me "Does Cade spend time with anyone else? Does anyone else ever take care of him?". I started to tell her that he occasionally is babysat by his aunt or grandmas...but I knew that wasn't really what she was asking. What she really wanted to know was whether Cade was a cry-baby in swimming class because he was unused to anyone else interacting with him (or commanding him around) except me. Somehow that makes me feel like I've ruined my kid by spending too much time with him. Well...I guess I'd rather ruin him by too much of my attention than by not enough.

Wouldn't it be nice if Cade stopped crying when his ear infection clears up? That would be amazing, but I'm not going to count on it. I think I'll just buy the swim instructor a set of ear plugs.