Have you read this story?

I'm reading the story of how fellow blogger The Pioneer Woman fell in love with her husband...the Marlboro Man. Fellow blogger is probably overexaggerating our relationship. She has readership in the millions. I'm working on reader #12, last I checked.

I am enthralled by her story. The romance, her fumbles, her constant discussion of what was going on in her head...it keeps bringing me back to her site, reading chapter by chapter, eager to hear how it ends. Even when I know how it ends. That is the sign of a great book...when you know how it ends, but you are still so eager to experience it. Her story is called Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.

I don't think I can turn the story of how I met and married hubby into a 3 page story, much less 20 chapters, but reading her book makes me want to try. I think I would have to make up a whole bunch of details because I have a lousy memory. Maybe I should write it...then whatever details I make up will find their home in my memory and I'll finally have a story worthy of telling our children. A made up story, but a story none-the-less! =)

It is a sickness

I love to torture my husband. It's true. I enjoy hearing him say something awful to me that I will get to remind him of over and over again. I love retelling stories where he looks like a jerk-husband and I look like a poorly-treated wife. Of course, nothing can be further from the truth...but for some reason I like telling the stories anyway.

I've told the following story a zillion times:
When hubby and I were first married, I wanted my first dinner to be memorable. So I decided to make beer-battered coconut shrimp with rice. It was bad. I burned the coconut on the shrimp, the beer batter tasted terrible, but it was the rice that was truly horrendous. Hubby took a few bites and then said "well, if I run out of grout at least this rice will give me something to grout the countertops with."

Come on...that's funny...but that's a horrible thing to say about your wife's first meal. It still makes me laugh (just as it did that night).

A few nights ago, we were watching The Amazing Race. The contestants had to go down a huge water slide in Dubai and were all wearing swimsuits. There was one contestant that looked cute in her suit, but wasn't super thin. I commented "I wonder how much weight I would need to lose to look like her in a swimsuit." Later that night hubby and I were talking more seriously about teaming up for some weightloss before our trip to Maui in March. He asked how much weight I'd like to lose before the trip. I said that I would be happy with 5 lbs. He paused for a moment, then looked at me and said "you're not going to look like that girl on the Amazing Race if you only lose 5 lbs."

Once again, the statement is true...but woe is the man that says that to his wife. So now I have to torture him by bringing it up every half hour. I drop little comments about how he said I was fat (he didn't) or how he hates how I look in a swimsuit (he didn't). Why do I do this? I don't know. I just know that it is fun for me; perhaps it is my way of paying him back for the lovely comment. I'm not offended. I wasn't mad when he said it. If anything, I was gleeful when he said it because I knew I'd have some torture material to work with for a week or two.

Maybe my desire to torture hubby is a sickness, but it isn't one that I'm looking for a cure to anytime soon. Can't wait for some new material!

Hubby's Fishing Trip

I had decided not to post about my husband's absence this week in case any cyber-stalkers were out there who wanted to come figure out where I live. But, given the amount of facebook posting about my hubby's fishing trip, I think the cat is out of the bag.

While I am THRILLED that hubby gets a chance to go enjoy himself with the boys, the thought of a week on my own with all three kids was a tad terrifying. I was afraid of getting overwhelmed on day 3 and having 3 more days to go. I was afraid of becoming emotionally overwrought and screaming inanities at my children. I was afraid of spending my time silently crying in the powder room while trying to calmly say "kids, mommy needs a minute."

But, here I am on day 4 and none of those thing have come true. I'm actually...okay. It has been a good couple of days. While we all miss hubby/daddy dearly, his absence isn't resulting in anyone's heart failure.

I have a three point plan for surviving my week and I think it is helping. It is:

1 -- GO TO BED ON TIME
I really need to start heading up to my bedroom by 10 pm. I usually grab my iTouch for a half hour of You-tubing or iTunes-ing before I roll over to go to sleep. So far, I've managed to get enough sleep to be sane for the early morning wakeup calls (the Big Guy has started an early morning pattern that I don't quite understand). And I'm all caught up on lots of online comedy videos.

2 -- EAT RIGHT
I don't usually have a problem eating, but when hubby is gone my choices tend to be poor. Like having a milkshake for lunch or making the kids eggs for dinner (which I hate and so won't eat). I've been making regular old dinners in hubby's absence. Last night was Tex-Mex Casserole, which I thought was tasty but my kids threw HUGE fits about. Seriously...do they have to gag over lasagna noodles?

3 -- NO BOOK READING
While escaping into a good book sounds like a successful way to get through the week, the "me" time actually works against me. Once I start reading, I get frustrated by the interruptions...and I get a little obsessed. Soon I'm snapping at the kids to let me finish my chapter and staying up late reading (see point #1). So, no reading for me this week. I pledge to try to stay in the present with my kids and not look for ways to escape the job in front of me.

And so, Day 4 w/o hubby is looking like a nice one. The sun is shining. The kids have swimming lessons today, so we'll be busy. On Day 5 w/o hubby, my delightful MIL is taking the Big Guy for a couple of hours, so I might even be able to go out to lunch with a friend. And then hubby will be home late on Day 6. Day 6 is the day that I'll probably fall to pieces...somehow I always manage to behave myself right up until the time where I've almost made it. I wonder what that says about me?

WELL, that hasn't happened in forever

Today some guy whistled at me. No, not the "come here pooch" whistle, the better one. The "you're cute" whistle. I believe the last time some guy, other than dear hubby, whistled at me was in 1998.

I remember the time clearly because I was out running at Marymoor park with a good friend of mine and we discussed how our responses to getting whistled at were very different. I'm always flattered (well, clearly it doesn't happen with any frequency anymore, but I used to be "always" flattered). I usually respond with a smile and a wave. My friend considered it demeaning or unwanted attention from someone without enough good graces to be desirable. She thought a discouraging look was a more appropriate response.

Perhaps I welcomed the whistles more because I've always thought construction workers were hot.
Oh wait...wow, did ya catch the stereotype there? As if all men who whistle are likely construction workers. Yikes. Someone better turn me in for that one. But I'm not repentant enough to take the statement away.

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah. I do think construction workers are cute. Something about their hard labor and big muscles. I think they look good when they are all dirty after putting in a long day. Good thing hubby is a contractor or I might get in trouble for saying that. Oh, & firefighters are cute too. =)



I would post a picture of MY cute fireman, but I don't really have any pictures of him working. I should remedy that!

A little poem for you

My husband was CRANKY
when he got out of bed
He was so CRANKY
I wanted to kick him in the head

But he took my advice
and upstairs he fled
when he came back again
I made sure he was fed

Now we can return
to being happily wed

My knight in shining armor

Today I took the kids to a birthday party at a park. I love being at the park with the kids, but I hate getting from the parking lot to the park (or the beach, or the lake, etc.) with the kids and their gear. I doubly-hate getting back to the car, as the gear is no longer compactly packed and the kids are no longer clean or compliant.

The location for today's birthay was a lovely spot. It had a covered picnic shelter, a concrete path where the kids would be having scooter races, a water park, slides, swings, climbing toys & grass. Who could ask for more, right? I would like to ask that the park not be a 1/4 mile from the parking lot. By the time I got the kids, their 3 scooters, their 3 helmets, a birthday present, and my own bag down to the picnic, I was one grumpy lady. Instead of the big hug the hostess deserved in greeting, all she got was a growl from me as I complained about the Big Guy's lack of ability to steer on the way to the spot. A quarter mile is a long way to push a tricycle when the front wheel is sideways and dragging along the path.

I was starting to get my cool back (despite the 95 degree heat) when Sweetness informs me that she had to go to the bathroom. And does anyone want to guess where the bathroom was? Yes, most of the way back to the parking lot. So I grab the Big Guy (thank goodness Spunky Girl can fend for herself for a few minutes) and headed up to find the bathrooms. I was waiting for Sweetness to finish, when I saw a familiar body come across the grass toward me. I couldn't even see his face yet when I knew it was my hubby.

Oh the joy of unexpected help. I though hubby was off working today, but he ended up with some free time and he came to help me with the kids. It was like he rode up as a knight in shining armor -- that's how happy I was about his arrival. The next few hours were so much easier. When the Big Guy needed a diaper change and I realized I forgot the supplies in the car, I didn't have to haul him with me when I walked back to get the supplies. When it was time to leave the party, he pushed the Big Guy *uphill* back to the car while I carried our gear and Spunky Girl's scooter. While I was walking back, I tried to picture myself pushing the Big Guy, carrying the gear, & carrying Spunky Girl's scooter. It wouldn't have been pretty.

Now we're back home, hiding in the house from the 95 degree heat. We have air conditioning, thanks to the kindness of my in-laws. I'm thanking God for them today!

Miss Him

Hubby is working a 48 hour shift, so I miss him. I ran across this quote that made me think of him and thought I'd share:

Sweet is the smile of home; the mutual look, when hearts are of each other sure. -- John Keble

Today is gonna be a hot one...we're off to the Lake.
Have a good one.

P.S. Left my camera in Hoodsport, so no up-to-date pics for awhile until I make the trek back to pick it up.

As promised, my thoughts on the Love and Respect marraige seminar

Hubby and I attended the first of 4 classes in a marriage seminar called Love and Respect. The main gist of the material is that women primarily need unconditional love and men primarily need unconditional respect. That doesn’t mean that women don’t need respect and men don’t need love, but what we need the most from each other is different. They’ve done studies at the University of Washington that have shown that to be true, but I don’t really need a university study to tell me that. The Bible, the highest authority in my life, says it too:

Eph 5:33 So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband.

Of course, just because I’ve read that verse a few thousand times doesn’t mean that I’m doing it well. The speaker’s name for this series is Emerson Eggerichs and he was talking about how accepted it is in our society that people need unconditional love. You don’t see many Oprah talk shows where people argue whether love should be conditional or unconditional. However, you start talking about men needing unconditional respect and you’ll get some backlash. “Respect is earned” is the primary thought. The idea that men need respect for who they are, not what they do, is an idea that needs some attention.

Eggerichs also commented that our society more negatively views male behavior in comparison to female behavior. Women tend to cry when they experience negative emotions, men tend to get angry. So, when a man and a woman have an argument and the woman starts to cry and the man walks away angry…who do we think the “bad” person is? Obviously the man with the “anger issue”.

Here is the main image they wanted to leave each person with after class 1:


Each person was asked to consider their spouses whenever they experience negative emotions in a discussion. We are supposed to say something like “Are you feeling dis-respected by me? because I’m feeling unloved by you and I’m wondering why.” Of course, hubby and I are turning this into a joke. Every time he farts, I ask “are you feeling disrespected by me? because I’m feeling unloved by you”…at which point he tries to show me his love in some vulgar fashion. It makes us laugh. Not that we aren’t taking the class seriously. We are and I can already see things that I need to work on and do differently, but the comic relief is helpful.

Apparently I'm a leather and chaps kinda girl

Well I did something today I haven't done in 10+ years...I hopped on the back of a motorcycle. I haven't spent any real time on a motorcycle since I was a kid, when I used to love to ride on long trips with my dad. Of course, dad rode a Gold Wing and hubby rides a Kawasaki KLR 650. On Dad's GoldWing, I used to take naps on the back during rides. You are so secure back there, with the back rest, sometimes arm rests, and a person in front of you to lean on. On hubby's KLR, you lean back and your butt hits the pavement.

With the kids sick, I hadn't thought I would be able to go with hubby to our first class in the Love and Respect marriage seminar. At the last moment, my dad offered to stay with the kids and I was able to jump on the bike before hubby drove out of the driveway. Such a last minute departure saved me from mentally agonizing over riding again, but it also left me a bit mentally unprepared. I spent the first 10 minutes of the ride frightened and thinking about what would happen if the kids lost both their parents in a motorcycle accident. I thought about my will and wondered if my parents would know where to find it. I thought about Suze Orman and her advice that a Living Trust is only helpful if you actually fund it by changing all your beneficiary information to include the trust...which I haven't done. I thought about my ankles. When I learned that I could go, I quickly donned jeans, a leather jacket, and tennis shoes...but my ankles were bare. I know it is true that falling off the bike would lead to much more damaging injuries than road rash, but it was what would happen when my bare ankles hit the pavement that was fixated in my mind. After about 10 minutes, we stopped going downhill, stopped going over speedbumps, stopped going on dirt roads, and were able to hit the open highway. That's when I started enjoying the ride.

I enjoyed the beautiful ride from that point on. The scents that wafted over us were amazing. The flower scents, the cow scents, the river scent, and the trees. When I drive in a car, I spend most of my time looking forward. On the back of a motorcycle, you really can't see past the big ole helmet in front of you...so you look to the side. I noticed orchards for the first time in yards that I've driven by a million times. I got to watch the kids playing little league baseball. I got to watch the people floating down the river on inner tubes.

We arrived to our class safely (I'll blog about the class in my next post) and I found myself looking forward to the ride back. The sky all the way home was a lovely shade of rosey pink -- like a pretty white zinfindel. Right at the horizon, there was a burst of yellow, making it look like there could have been a fire somewhere behind the tree line.

Oh, I learned something else too...when the wind picks up and you hit a dust storm, the headlight on the bike makes it look like there are little fire sparks coming at you. Fear not, there was no fire. =)

(Sunset picture borrowed from hickerphoto.com)

Memorial Day Crisis

Okay, it isn't a crisis. It isn't even a conundrum. It is barely a problem. I was just having a hard time coming up with a title....

I woke up early this bright, sunny Memorial Day. Spunky Girl was already in bed with us, snuggled next to her dad for a change. I assumed that meant it was after 7 am, but I was wrong. I saw that the clock said 6, so I crawled back in bed...but I was already awake. I was thinking about the quilt I was getting close to finishing, so I got back up and started working on it. Turns out, after a year of working on this quilt, that I don't like the very fabric that was my theme fabric. The fabric that started it all looks terrible as a border on my quilt.

Here is my theme fabric:


Here is my quilt top:


Here is the quilt top with the theme fabric border:


See how the border fabric competes with the main pieced section? I really don't like it. It isn't such a crisis though, because I bought enought of my theme fabric that I can turn it into the back of my quilt. I think I'll use a strong, dark brown as my border fabric instead. It will be manly...just like hubby. =) The guys at the firehouse, where the quilt is headed, might have teased hubby about the fireman fabric so now the theme fabric will be on the underside of the quilt...so that seems better to me as well.

Stay tuned...I'll post a picture of the finished quilt with the brown border when I've got it finished. I'm trying to get it done for Father's Day.

Where's the Daddy love?

I often get emails from my dear aunt about how special we women are. There are poems about how we make great friends, how we are great moms, how we are unique and lovely...but I have NEVER gotten an email about how great dads are. Today I stopped to wonder why. I don't even think I've gotten one on Father's Day.

Why is this? I suppose it is because we women are largely in charge of the emotional connections in the world. Perhaps it doesn't occur to men to write such things. Perhaps it doesn't occur to men that another guy might appreciate such things...or maybe it simply doesn't build up men emotionally. I reject the notion that it is because men aren't worthy of such adoration.

I'm not the kind to get all up-in-arms about it, but I do think that the tv characters that portray fathers are lame. Everybody loves Raymond (both Ray and his dad), Home Improvement, My Wife and Kids, Gary Unmarried, and the list goes on.
They all portray men as hillarious because of their bad antics. The women are portrayed as hard working and responsible and the men are portrayed as irresponsible goofs.

I don't think I'll write a "dad poem" but if I did, it would include how smart they are, how they can fix stuff, how they wrestle with the kids, how they can be gruff but loving, how they can shoulder a heavy load, how they are there for us when we need them.

Come to think of it...that sounds just like the Father's Day cards that I buy that my husband always forgets to read. Maybe that's why we don't write it!

There is a mutiny afoot!

I don't know how I've been so blind up until now, but suddenly I can see clearly that dear hubby is about to blow a gasket. I got so caught up in what I think is right and good and responsible that I've been missing the super clear signs that hubby ain't happy.

Consider the evidence:
* Hubby went to Joes store, which is going out of business, and called to say that he was going to pick up a pair of snowshoes for me since they were on clearance. "Okay, make them my Mother's Day present. There is some money available in that category" say I. Silence is on the other end of the phone.
* Hubby has been talking about purchasing an awning for his construction business so he can create a workspace in people's driveways. He buys one and I make a comment about how it would be nice to have something similar on my desk to partially block the sun in the summer. Later, we are at the store and he puts one into my cart. "What's that for?" ask I. "For the deck" he replies, "you said you wanted one." "I thought I could just borrow yours" say I. "No, I don't want to have to take it down whenever I want to use it" says he. "But we don't have money in the budget" say I. Frosty glare. Tense moment...broken only by the sounds of Spunky Girl knocking over a display of skis and the Big Guy tripping on his own two feet.

* Hubby says we are years past the point where we should have had our septic tank pumped. "we've got to get that done" says he. "How do you recommend I pay for it?" says I. Husband becomes grumpy and just growls that we need to find a way.

* My parents offered to watch the kids for us for 2 nights while we sneak away for our anniversary. I was super excited about this so I figured out what weekend would work for everyone and then I called hubby's parents to see if we could borrow their mountain condo for the weekend. Apparently hubby doesn't want to stay at the free condo, he'd rather pay to stay somewhere nice...like the Edgewater.

Apparently hubby is tired of hearing about all my financially fiscal ways. He doesn't particularly care about finding a spot in the budget for whatever he'd like to purchase. He just wants to buy what he thinks we need (or what he wants) without thinking too much about it. He doesn't like it when I refuse to get a haircut because "I don't have money in the budget for it till next month". I think it must make him feel like he doesn't provide well enough, that he doesn't bring in enough money for our family. I feel just the opposite. I think he makes plenty of money and it is my job to use that money responsibility and respect his income by spending it carefully.

I think I've made budgetting such a topic in our household that he is sick, sick, sick of it. He is swinging the pendulum to the other side in reaction. It is enjoyable to him to enjoy the fruits of his labor without thinking about it too much. This is difficult for me. I work really hard to keep our household from overspending our income. He wants me to just buy stuff because I like it and would put it to good use. He isn't particularly worried that we'll fall into debt, although not paying off the credit card in full every month would fine with him.

I need to shut my mouth about the things that he wants to buy that are outside the budgetted amounts. The question of "how shall I pay for that" should only come up if I truly don't know what would be the best way to pay a bill...not just because it wasn't previously budgetted into a category. I'm tempted to say that if he doesn't want to live within the budget than I won't either, but that won't work for several reasons. First, I can't enjoy spending money if I think it is going to put us into debt. It sounds good to throw caution to the wind, but I know that in the long term I would regret any such decisions. Second, just because he needs a little emotional wiggle room when it comes to budgetting, I can still serve my family best by being conservative and organized with our purchases. I don't really need the emotional wiggle room. I can be the most respectful and appreciative of how hard he works by not wasting money.

Of course, desiring to keep my mouth shut when we overspend in a category and ACTUALLY keeping my mouth shut are two different things. Oh, and I should probably work on curtailing any negative body language about it while I'm at it. It won't do me any good to keep my mouth shut if I have to physically slap my hand over my mouth to do it. If I can be successful at this, I have all faith that my hubby with quickly return to valuing the budget as much as I do. Hey, a girl can dream....

A Shopping BLITZ

I don't think I ever got around to blogging about my shopping challenge. Perhaps that is because I think most people couldn't care less...but when has that stopped me from blogging about something?

The gist of the shopping challenge was this:
For 7 months, I committed to not shop for myself. No clothes, no shoes, no accessories, no jewely, no extraneous facial products, no fancy shampoos. I joined this challenge with 6 of my friends. We all committed to a number of months by paying in advance $20 for each month. Any person failing the challenge, by purchasing something they shouldn't have, forfeited all of their cash. The winners at the end of the challenge not only got their cash back, but they got to split amongst themselves the cash of those who didn't make it.

In addition to these rules, I had a special rule. Since I'm not the type to spend "too" much (whatever that is defined by) shopping, I had the extra rule that at the end of the challenge I needed to go on a shopping blitz and buy the things I liked WITHOUT worrying about the price tags. Since I am a budget-freak, I have been putting aside a little money each month during the challenge to add to my winnings so that I could afford the little blitz.

The challenge ended March 31st and I think it surprised no one that I was successful. I won $200 bucks from my friends (thank you very much for your contributions). I also have budgetted $40 per month for shopping in my household budget, so $40 x 7 is $280 more. I think I set aside another $100 during those 7 months, so my total available cash for my blitz was $580.

My first act of shopping after winning my challenge was to look through my friend Melissa's clothes that were headed for the consignment store. She was willing to sell me her designer clothes at a third of their original prices. I spent a total of $270 on her clothes, but I purchased around 15 items and she threw a few things in for free. I got several pair of designer jeans (Jeans for all Mankind, Big Star, David Kahn, Kut), several pairs of slacks, a few pairs of capris, 4 blouses, 3 dinner jackets, 3 skirts and a long dress jacket. When I started the challenge, I was wearing size 10/12 and now I am wearing a size 8 so the new clothes really helped my wardrobe.

I spent some of my blitz money on shoes. I purchased three pairs. The first is a pair of brown heeled sandals from Union Bay. Those cost me $35. My husband took me down to the Famous Brands "buy one get a second pair half off" sale and bought me a pair of Rocket Dog sneakers and a pair of wedge sandals from Sketchers. I'm including that in my shopping blitz totals, even though it was a gift from hubby. I think the bill there was $109 for both pairs.

Last night I went on the last part of my shopping blitz and blew the rest of my money. I went to the mall with Keri and Melissa for Melissa's birthday and bought some makeup at Sephora and Clinique. 3 eyeliners at Sephora was about $35 and powder and lipstick at Clinique was about $40 (but I got a bonus gift too!).

Then the girls went their seperate ways and hubby joined me at the mall where we did a little more shopping. We went to Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch, and then to American Eagle. Of those 3, AE was a clear winner. Hollister and Abercrombie have the music up way too loud and their clothes are way too small for my body... and their prices were too high too. American Eagle has enjoyable music playing in the background, but not too loud that you have to yell at each other to converse. They actually have the size XL (unlike Hollister and Ambercrombie) but the Large size fits me fine. I picked up a pair of knee length shorts, 2 polo shirts, and a hoodie that will match my new Rocket Dog sneakers. It is so fun to shop with the hubby. He's great at handing me new things to try and he encourages me to get what I like (who wouldn't like that in a shopping partner!). We signed up for the AE store card to get another %15 percent off, so our total there was $109.

My last purchase was at the juniors department at Macy's. I know I'm not a "juniors" and haven't been for a decade or two...but the prices are so much better in the Juniors dept. I got a DKNY white sweater for $15 on sale...no way I could have bought anything DKNY upstairs in the ladies dept for $15. I also got a blue/green blouse for $20. I got an extra %20 off for charging the purchase to my Macy's card, so I think my total there was only $30.

So, drum roll please...it is time for me to add up my spree:
$270 for Mel's clothes (a great deal!)
$144 for 3 pairs of shoes
$75 for makeup
$109 for AE
$30 for Macy's
Total of $628 (as usual, nearly 15% over my budget. It is funny how it always seems to be 15%)

That feels like a really, really large amount of money to spend on oneself, but the shopping challenge was an extraordinary event and so the post-challenge blitz will not be something I make a habit of. Now I'm back to watching my $$ and trying to stay in my monthly budget. Hopefully no shopping for me for awhile!

Hope I haven't bored you too badly. Lisa OUT.