Thursday, October 29, 2009

It is a sickness

I love to torture my husband. It's true. I enjoy hearing him say something awful to me that I will get to remind him of over and over again. I love retelling stories where he looks like a jerk-husband and I look like a poorly-treated wife. Of course, nothing can be further from the truth...but for some reason I like telling the stories anyway.

I've told the following story a zillion times:
When hubby and I were first married, I wanted my first dinner to be memorable. So I decided to make beer-battered coconut shrimp with rice. It was bad. I burned the coconut on the shrimp, the beer batter tasted terrible, but it was the rice that was truly horrendous. Hubby took a few bites and then said "well, if I run out of grout at least this rice will give me something to grout the countertops with."

Come on...that's funny...but that's a horrible thing to say about your wife's first meal. It still makes me laugh (just as it did that night).

A few nights ago, we were watching The Amazing Race. The contestants had to go down a huge water slide in Dubai and were all wearing swimsuits. There was one contestant that looked cute in her suit, but wasn't super thin. I commented "I wonder how much weight I would need to lose to look like her in a swimsuit." Later that night hubby and I were talking more seriously about teaming up for some weightloss before our trip to Maui in March. He asked how much weight I'd like to lose before the trip. I said that I would be happy with 5 lbs. He paused for a moment, then looked at me and said "you're not going to look like that girl on the Amazing Race if you only lose 5 lbs."

Once again, the statement is true...but woe is the man that says that to his wife. So now I have to torture him by bringing it up every half hour. I drop little comments about how he said I was fat (he didn't) or how he hates how I look in a swimsuit (he didn't). Why do I do this? I don't know. I just know that it is fun for me; perhaps it is my way of paying him back for the lovely comment. I'm not offended. I wasn't mad when he said it. If anything, I was gleeful when he said it because I knew I'd have some torture material to work with for a week or two.

Maybe my desire to torture hubby is a sickness, but it isn't one that I'm looking for a cure to anytime soon. Can't wait for some new material!

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