Friday, June 19, 2009
Love and Respect marriage class #3
I have to say that I was dragging my feet a little bit about attending class #3. The first class was an introduction and the 2nd class focused on teaching the men how to meet their wives needs (especially the needs that are most foreign to them). The third class was the ladies turn to hear about meeting their husband's needs. Why was I dragging my feet? I don't know. I enjoyed the first two classes. I think I just didn't want to be lectured about what I should be doing better (espectially on our 14th wedding anniversary). But I already had a sitter organized, so away we went...and it turns out that I enjoyed the class.
I suppose I vainly thought that I already knew what hubby needed from me. I was suprised at how many things that they brought up that I didn't realize were true. The class focused on 6 male needs:
1 -- Hubby needs to be appreciated for his desire to work hard and achieve
2 -- Hubby needs to be appreciated for his desire to protect us and provide for us
3 -- Hubby needs to be appreciated for his desire to be strong and lead his family and make good decisions
4 -- Hubby needs to be appreciated for his desire to analze situations and have wise counsel
5 -- Hubby needs shoulder-to-shoulder friendship from me
6 -- Hubby needs sexual intimacy
It took me awhile (I can be slow) to really focus on two important things. First, he actually needs to be praised for having a heart that wants to do all those things, regardless of whether he does them well or not. I'm supposed to appreciate that my husband is willing to die for me, regardless of whether he is ever put into a position of having to. I'm supposed to appreciate his desire to want to help me find solutions to problems, even if I didn't really ask for his help with something.
The second thing is that he needs to hear more about my appreciation than my love. In how many cards have I expressed my infinite love when he would have gotten more out of a "thanks for working so hard to bring home the bacon" sentiment? Has anyone told the Hallmark company about this?
Here's one thing that I thought was funny about the class. All throughout the hour and a half class, I'm furiously taking notes. I'm underlining important things and even created a special "star" notation for questions I wanted to ask him on the way home. We get nearly to the end of the class and the instructor lets us know that sometimes what the men really need is to not have to discuss everything. Huh? Than why have I been taking copious notes full of questions to ask hubby? Lucky for me, hubby noticed that I was strangely quiet on the way home and invited me to ask him one or two questions.
I think we have 1 or 2 class sessions left. Stay tuned for next week's installment of "Love & Respect...Could you have a better marriage?"