Musing about my masseuse

Today I booked a massage appointment for Friday. I will be looking forward to it the entire week. Almost a month ago now, I woke up with a stiff, painful neck and it still has not entirely recovered. My chiropractor does a great job and he is unconcerned about my neck, so I suspect it must be a muscle issue more than a structural one.

Of all the masseuses that I've ever visited, Hugo (whose name I've changed) is by far superior. When I started to see him a year ago, I felt guilty about seeing him. I liked him that much. I like that he is a big man with great big hands. When he lays his hands on you, just one of his hands covers a great deal of space. The sheer weight of his hands is comforting. My hubby sees a female masseuse at the same office. He feels weird having a guy rub his hands all over him, so he prefers female. I've got no problems with a female masseuse, but I think I prefer men.

Having declared my preference for men, I don't want to see a male masseuse that I find attractive. I don't want to have any train of thought about how I feel about having him touch me. I don't want to wonder if he thinks I'm cute. I don't want to giggle if he touches the sides of the mountains or if he works on my butt muscles.

Hugo came dangerously close to becoming "a guy" when when he lost 100 lbs on Medifast. Suddenly, my gentle giant of a masseuse was a real person. I don't think I had noticed that he was overweight before, but I did notice that he lost a bunch of weight. 100 lbs is quite an accomplishment and it seemed natural to chat with Hugo about his weight loss during the massage, but it was less relaxing for me to talk about exercise and food choices than it would have been to lay there listening to wave sounds and zoning out. Now we do chat during my massages. I know about his kids. I know about his family. I know more about office politics.

Lucky for me, Hugo will definitely follow my lead when it comes to talking. He's happy to work quietly if I stay quiet, or happy to chat if I keep up my end of the conversation. I sure am grateful that my health insurance covers this. It feels like an amazing luxury and I'm glad to be going this week.