Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Inwardly raving psychotic lunatic

Today was flowing along like any other day. The Big Guy and I ran errands in the morning and came home at noon after picking up Spunky Girl at preschool. So far so good. I make the kids lunch and start cleaning. I clean and clean and clean and a hour later, you can't even tell that I've made an effort. I've got the laundry folded and put away, but the rest of the houss is still a disaster.

Hubby calls and asks me if I'd rather him come home for a quick lunch or pick something up at a fast food place on the way to the hardware store. I encouraged him to come home and I'd make him lunch. I start to work on his turkey sandwich and iced mocha. He gets home while I'm still making his lunch and sits down to play a computer games while he eats.

Meanwhile, it is time for the Big Guy's nap. The Big Guy has been resistant to nap time lately. The "scream-my-bloody-head-off" kind of resistant. Today was no different. I tried rocking and singing to him before bed, but he continued to scream and pitch a fit so I just dropped him in his crib and shut (okay, I slammed) the door. So my frustration meter has climbed a little...

Hubby has finished his sandwich and helps himself to chips. He makes a joke to Spunky Girl that his crunching will probably annoy me, but sits down to eat them anyway. I look around and the dishes are piled up to the ceiling and the Big Guy is still screaming...and now Hubby is crunching on chips. Frustration meter climbs...a lot.

I start working on the dishes, but the sound of chip crunching coming from the other room is echoing around, bouncing off the walls and driving straight into my ear drums. "Come On", I think to myself "get a grip...the guy can eat a few chips without you getting annoyed". Somehow, that fails to stop the irritating noise. Hubby invites Spunky Girl to have some chips with him. I'm sure at this point he can hear my slamming around grumpily in the kitchen and it just trying to keep her out of my way, but it doubles the chip crunching. I soooooo badly want to tell him to STOP CRUNCHING, but I can't because it simply isn't reasonable.

My mind scrambles. I realize that I shouldn't be mad at him for the chip crunching, but surely I can be mad that he's playing computer games and I never get a break from the endless workload. Ah, yes, something else to fixate on. The frustration meter rises even higher. Mentally I know I'm not mad about the computer games, I'm really mad about the chip crunching. But I can't be mad about the man coming home for lunch, saving us cash, and eating chips IN THE OTHER ROOM. What is my problem?

The Big Guy screams on in his crib. I'm gonna lose it. I bark at Spunky Girl to come help me clear the table. Apparently I know it is okay not to yell at hubby for crunching chips, but think it is okay to bark at my kids to make them stop the irritating behavior. Hmmm. She drops a plate, making a bigger mess. It is just pushing me over the edge.

A bolt of lightening to my brain. A solution appears. "Honey, could you go pick up our daughter from the busstop?". Spunky girl asks to go with him.

< quiet >

3 blessed minutes of quiet. No chip crunching. No children talking. Even the Big Guy takes a momentary break from screaming.

My breathing starts to return to normal.

I eat a piece of cake. A 450 calorie hit to my day (which will be glaring on my new calorie counting exercise), but so worth it. Sanity returns.


  1. I've so been there!

    And in all honesty, it makes me feel SOOOOO much better to know I'm not the only person whose house often looks like a tornado just ripped through! I feel like with 2 boys it's just futile to try to even keep up at times! And when I'm getting really fed up, then something else breaks making a mess(right now my kitchen floor is littered with tupperware lids that I'll now have to wash because Lor stood in the lid drawer, bent teh glides, and Eric hasn't fixed it yet - it's driving me CRAZY!)

  2. I hate myself when I snap at Grant when I really am irritated with my husband.

  3. Hi Lisa I really enjoy your blog. I can picture you going though these just like i was there. Of course i have know you for so long i do have a advantage. Your blog is my second favorite to another Lisa. Glen


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