Kidde Post

How did I end up here? Suddenly I am den mother to 9 dogs. At first, the Big Guy had one favorite dog, "Pink Poodle". Pink Poodle belonged to his sister Sweetness, but he absconded with it and decided it was his own. Daddy didn't like his Big Guy carrying around a pink-anything, so "Nopo" a dalmation arrived on the scene. "Blue doggie" used to stay in his crib (a shower present from Barb Bass), but later became part of the dog posse that the Big Guy carries around. As his sisters acquired new webkinz dogs, they became part of the Big Guy's collection. It wouldn't be so bad if the doggie collection just stayed in one place, but the Big Guy insists on carrying them around. When we get up from naptime, all the doggies have to come downstairs with us. When we go down for bedtime, woe is the mother that is missing a dog.

I've noticed a dog missing before and tried to fool him, saying the dog's name as if he was already in the crib...but the Big Guy always catches me. "But I don't see my puppy" he says. I've tried telling him that he has plenty of doggies and he doesn't need me to go find the missing pup, but he just cries like his heart is breaking. "I need my Nopo, mommy". It is hard to stand there and say "no" when you know you can just go downstairs and find the stupid dog.



Doggies: Sparky (in his arms), Nopo, Bulldog, Scruffy, Gray doggie, Cheetoe, Puppy, Blue Doggie. (Pink Poodle is missing).

Oh...and how did the Big Boy bed experiment go? We're still working on that. He slept in there for 2 naps, although slept probably isn't an accurate word. He did make it through one nighttime, but last night he wanted back into his crib. On the upside, all my kids think it is great fun to hang out in the Big Guy's big boy bed. All the kids playing nicely in one room is good for mommy!


Okay, one last piece of business. I think the new Facebook layout means my blog gets read less...or it least it seems that way based on the comments I get back. For just this one blog, will you put your initials into the comment field (or a comment would work fine too), just so I know you've read my blog. I promise I'll only make you go through this once. Thanks. I appreciate it!

School Starts Today

The alarm clock rang at seven. It rang like it hasn't rung since early June. Lucky for me, I don't have to hear it. Sweetness has it in her room and she has the responsibility to get up, turn it off, and come wake up momma. It belongs on my "best of" motherhood list.

She jumped out of bed this morning and made her bed without being asked. I love it when they are excited for school. I'd love to post a picture of her dressed in her first-day-of-school clothes, but I forgot to take a picture. I also forgot to take a picture of her getting on the school bus. That probably won't make it into my "best of" motherhood list. I wish I had a picture of her face when the boy she doesn't like sat down next to her. The silent telepathy of "help me mom" works through the bus windows. "Bye honey" I yell "have a great first day" and turn my back on her pleading eyes.

We're back on a schedule. Tuesday schedules will be full:
7 am -- Sweetness up and getting ready for school
7:50 am -- walk sweetness to the bus stop (hope and pray that mom or hubby is around so I don't have to drag the other two kids down the hill with us)
9:20 -- get Spunky Girl and the Big Guy in the car for swim lessons
9:30 -- Spunky Girl's swim lessons
10 am -- the Big Guy's swim lessons
11 am -- early lunch for the 2 little kids
11:55 am -- walk Spunky Girl down to the bus stop
1:30 pm -- put the Big Guy down for a nap (please please please)
3:12 pm -- pick up Spunky Girl and Sweetness from the bus stop
4:20 pm -- get the kids in the car to head back to the pool for Sweetness' swim lessons
5 pm -- start dinner!

Should be a full day. I'm looking forward to it! Happy First Day of School!

Maybe it isn't supposed to be text-book easy...

I know you all have your hearts set on another post about what I'm wearing, or what new gadget I've acquired, but this will be a post on my thoughts on raising kids. Shocking, I know...no complaining please...unless you are going to leave me a comment...in which case, go right ahead. Positive or negative comment...I'm not picky.

I have been known to complain that kids should come with a manual. If someone would just tell me what ACTUALLY WORKS with kids, I'd be happy to follow it. The problem is that what works with one child may not work with another.

I don't think everyone agrees with this concept. They think they do, but they really don't. The "To Train Up A Child" folks may believe that children are different, but I think they largely believe that strict training benefits all children. The "positive reinforcement only" folks believe, IMHO, that all children will respond to being encouraged to want to do what they should do.

I'm searching for a new parenting plan for the Big Guy. The parenting methods that we used successfully with Sweetness and Spunky Girl (mostly derived from the "Growing Kids God's Way series) haven't been succesful with him. With the girls, we had kind of an "escalating discipline" plan. Most behavior is fixed with a reminder, or better yet some coaching on what good behavior looks like before they got into trouble. Failure to respond to those reminders will get you a consequence, maybe a time out or something that makes sense (like losing the toy they are not using correctly). Bad attitudes, lack of respect toward a parent, or aggression toward others usually earn them some stronger discipline. But, in the end, we were always able to bring their behavior around to what we wanted it to be.

The Big Guy, on the other hand, will usually get himself in trouble for throwing a fit because he didn't get what he wanted...and any attempts to discpline him for that fit will only lead to more screaming and aggressive behavior. Unlike the girl's parenting plan, which centers on how we'll react to behavior we don't want to encounter again...the Big Guy's parenting plan needs to center on how to avoid getting into the situation where he's throwing a tantrum. I cringe as I write that because I know it sounds like we've stopped trying to train him and are dejectedly now training ourselves instead. But I feel strongly that he needs something different than the girls needed. He needs to be taught how to accept life's disappointments without going ballistic.

Today I've been thinking that God didn't give us a concise parenting plan on purpose, probably for the same reason that he doesn't give us a concise marriage plan. I think God gives us general principals that we need to apply, and then it is our challenge to consider our family members with love and decide what is best for that unique person that God gave us. I think we learn to love each other more when we struggle a little bit with knowing what to do in challenging situations. It forces us to really look into ourselves and question why we behave the way we do and whether it is truly ourselves that need to change or if we need to motivate our loved one to change. I'm being forced to look at my parenting plan, which I like very much, and determine if that plan is THE WAY and the Big Guy will eventually get it...or whether the right thing to do (the loving thing to do) is to go outside of my comfort level in order to seek the best for my son.

Some friends of mine are reading a new parenting book called 'Loving Your Kids on Purpose". I haven't read the book yet, but I'm eagerly awaiting their book reports (so I can see if I really need to read it). I don't know if the theories in this book will work with the Big Guy or not, but I'm willing to look into it. I'm eager to hear anyone else's thoughts on that book or any other parenting books you love!

Bad Boy!!!

The Big Guy has started saying "Bad Boy" whenever someone or something does something that he doesn't like. When his sunglasses won't stay up on his face, he yells "Bad Boy" at them. When his mommy won't let him sit in his sister's car seat, he says "Bad Boy, Mommy, Bad Boy!"

I think one would have to assume by listening to the boy that he must hear "Bad Boy" a lot. He doesn't. I'd love to say that he's never heard it, but I know I've said it a couple of times. I agree in principle that it is best to talk about the bad behavior instead of talking about him, but sometimes there just isn't time for that. When we are in Costco and he has started throwing bluberries at the other shoppers, I don't necessarily have time to explain to him that while his mommy loves him very much and knows that he is a good boy, his behavior is currently not up to par. No, I think I might have whispered "Bad Boy!" to him.

Oh well, I've gotten a lot of practice ignoring people's stares when the Big Guy is throwing a fit...I guess I can ignore their assumptions that my son is verbally assaulted with "Bad Boy" all the time.

That's some mighty fine parenting

Breakfast



Hopefully it was mostly empty when his dad gave it to him.